Rush of Blood to the Head
by smashkitty
Summary: When you leave something behind, a part of yourself is left with it. Cyan Rush left her old life behind and never looked back. She's now living her childhood dream of helping and protecting Jump City. She'll have to learn the hard way that the past always comes back to haunt you. As the Teen Titans try to help their new teammate, they'll learn that she isn't who she claims to be.
1. Chapter 1

I never asked to be crippled. I never asked to have the life-changing operation that would lead to the death of my parents. I never asked to be filled with such anger, when waking up after the explosion in a pile of debris, and realizing that I was just as much of a freak as before. One thing that I've always asked for, though, was to make a difference. To be a hero, a saint, or even just a charitable person. I got my wish the day of the operation. The day of the explosion. The day Candace Ross died, and Cyan Rush was born.

I'm no helpless girl anymore- I'm a Teen Titan.

#**********#

I slowly walk down the long hallway leading to the main room in Titans Tower- at least- I think it's the hallway leading to the main room. I've only been here for three weeks, and I still can't find my way around. This place is like a maze. I finally find the right doorway and peek my head through. Cyborg and Beast Boy are in the kitchen, and Raven is sitting on the couch reading a big, blue book. They don't notice me, and I decide to take this opportunity to just watch their morning routine. Not in a stalker-ish way, just in a people-watching way.

"Guess who made waffles?"

"Guess who made _tofu _waffles?"

Cyborg looks at Beast Boy like he just committed murder.

"Dude! You made waffles too? Now we're all out of eggs!"

"It's all good, Cy! I didn't use eggs!" Beast Boy tells him.

"No eggs? What are waffles without eggs?" Cyborg cries.

Raven looks up from her book and floats over to the kitchen, where Cyborg and Beast Boy are fuming at each other. She looks at the waffles. First Cyborg's, then Beast Boy's.

"Will you two knock it off-?" She starts to lecture, but is interrupted by a crying Starfire bursting into the room.

"Oh, my friends! It is the most terrible situation! I cannot find Silkie, and I have looked everywhere!"

I have to suppress a gasp. The thing I saw last night- the big worm- must be what Starfire's talking about.

This won't end well. Last night, that worm snuck into my room, and I sort of freaked-out and stuffed it into my purse and threw it in the trash bin.

I slowly start creeping back to my room, as stealthily as I can. Which isn't very stealthy, because my ankle makes a snapping sound when I walk too slowly.

"Friend Rush! Have you seen my dearest pet, Silkie?" I hear behind me.

Crap.

"Um, Silkie?" I turn around to face Starfire. We're about the same height, but I feel like I'm shrinking. "I- um- well; Silkie went into my room a bit _unexpectedly _last night. I sort of got scared and kind of threw him away. In the trash." I said sheepishly.

Starfire looks at me for a second, then bolts over to the trash bin, and starts savagely searching through the trash, apparently not caring about the disgusting contents inside. I run over to her and start to apologize.

"Starfire, I'm really sorry! I didn't know that that thing- pet- was yours! I just thought it was a giant bug or something!"

Starfire reaches into the very bottom of the bin, and retrieves an -oddly happy- Silkie. She turns to face me, and smiles.

"All is forgiven, friend! Silkie is unhurt! I can see why you would think Silkie was 'the giant bugs'. He does look quite ferocious at nighttime. His eyes can glow much like the splinshlop of my home planet!" She says cheerfully.

I give a little chuckle and follow Starfire to the kitchen. I take two waffles while she gets some mustard from the fridge. I look around the room, and finally notice that someone's missing.

"Hey," I turn to Cyborg, whose cleaning up a spill on the counter. "Where's Robin? Is he still sleeping or something?" I ask.

"Nah, Robin never sleeps in, he must be out patrolling. I swear, that guy never takes a break." Cyborg says.

In the few weeks I've been a Teen Titan, I've gotten to know everyone except Robin. I know he's the leader, and he's got a lot of work to do, but he seems really uptight. He reminds me of my mother- always planning and organizing. But, unlike my mother, he's alive.

"Rush? Hey- Cyan! You okay, girl?" Cyborg asks.

My mind focuses back, and I realize that I'm gripping the fork in my hand so tightly that my knuckles are turning white. I put it down, and suppress a grimace. I've got to stop living in the past. The Titans will never accept me if they see what a mess I am.

I look at Cyborg and give a half-smile.

"I'm fine, I'm just fine."


	2. Chapter 2 Revised

**Hey everybody! Author here! If you're reading this, then you probably like my story so far! 'Cause normal people don't keep reading something they hate. They just go, "Wow, I do not like this.", and close the browser. At least, I think that's what normal people do. I wouldn't know, though. I'm not a normal person.**

…

**Are you still reading this? C'mon! Get to the story! It's right down there.**

It's been three days since we've heard from Robin.

On the first day, none of us were worried- except me. Actually, I wouldn't say I was worried- I was pretty much just _concerned_. It's not like I was panicky, I was just afraid that something had happened to the Teen Titans leader. To our leader. No one else seemed to be distressed about Robin missing, though, which somehow got me even more stressed about it.

On the second day, Starfire and I decided to call him on his communicator. We would have done it sooner, but Robin always tells us not to bother him if he leaves for a few hours, so we didn't at first. Two whole days was a different story, however, so I got my shiny, new communicator out and tried to contact him. There was no answer the first time, or all the times after that.

On the third day, everyone was getting on edge. We all seemed to argue with each other about the littlest things; even Starfire threw an insult once or twice at me. Cyborg said we should go looking for him, so we split up to search Jump City. Beast Boy and I covered the west, Cyborg and Starfire went south, and Raven stayed in the tower to get the peace and quiet needed to contact Robin telepathically. When searching, Beast Boy found a strip of yellow fabric that could belong to Robin. We weren't exactly sure, though, so we brought it to Cyborg and he said he would have the fingerprints analyzed by morning. We all went to sleep with high hopes.

#***********#

I wake up and stare into darkness. My heart skips a beat, as it always does when I awake. I blindly reach for my mask, and press it onto my face.

My room is full of color.

I can see the white nightstand, the blue bed sheets, the white carpet, the blue walls. Everything. I feel the silky touch of my blonde hair sticking to my neck. For half a second, I get confused. My hair isn't blonde, it's brown. Then I remember, the hair dye, the name change, the outfit, the accident, the powers.

The powers.

I stare at my slim hands, wondering if they still glow blue with the energy flowing through them. They don't unless I tell them to.

I carefully focus my attention on bringing power to my hands. It's an easy task, like slipping on a glove. My hands radiate energy, and I create a small blue force field around them. I stare at this, until I let the force field evaporate into the air. Next, I climb out of bed and start jogging laps around my spacious room. Faster and faster I go, until the carpet gets hot from friction under my feet. I stop and look at the carpet. Its smoking.

How funny it is, that just about a month ago, I was in a wheelchair, not even able to push it around without help. Now, I can move at around 400 miles per hour. Funny.

Beast Boy peeks into my room. I snap my head to the doorway where he's standing and smile at him.

"Heya, BB. Is breakfast ready?"

Beast Boy looks at the smoking carpet and laughs.

"Dang, Rush! Did you have a marathon in here or something?" He says.

"Yeah, just seeing if my powers are still working."

Beast Boy gives me a toothy smile.

"Really? Y'know you don't have to do that! Your powers are going to stay with you for as long as you live!" Beast Boy says reassuringly.

"Heh, yeah."

Beast Boy shows himself out the door, and it closes behind him with a hiss.

My powers are going to stay with me for as long as I live. As long as I live. As long as I like. What if there was a way to get rid of my powers? If there was, would I even do it?

I walk over to my blue vanity mirror and stare at myself. My round, blue eyes stare back. They look tired, as though someone sucked the life out of my eyes, and nothing else. I guess that's what you get for only having about three hours of sleep every night. Every night, before I take off my mask and surrender myself to complete blindness, I think about all those faces. Faces full of pity, staring at me as though I was some sort of freak. A freak in a wheelchair. A freak in a blue and white jumpsuit. Candace Ross the freak. Cyan Rush the freak. I can't be both, but I can be Candace Ross, the girl. Candace Ross with no wheelchair, no superpowers, just a girl. A girl who makes a difference in Jump City. Not as a superhero, but as an everyday giver. A girl who isn't pitied, or feared, because there's nothing to be pitiful or afraid about.

If I could get rid of my powers, would I?

If Cyan Rush the Freak could become Candace Ross the Girl, would she?

Yes.

She would.

#************#

"Did you analyze the prints yet?" Raven asks someone.

I look up from my cereal and see Cyborg walk into the room with his head hanged low. I'm guessing he didn't.

He walks over and takes a seat at the bar stool next to me.

"No, I couldn't find anything."

Raven looks at him with slight annoyance.

"Well, there must have been _something_, Cyborg. You just have to look harder. Maybe-"

Cyborg slams his fist down onto the table, and I hear a loud crack. My cereal spills onto my lap.

"No! There was nothing! Absolutely nothing! Why is he doing this to us? Just leaving without warning? He's done this before, and it's never ended well! Why?!" Cyborg screams.

"Cyborg! Dude, it's okay, we'll find him. We just need some more time." Beast Boy says.

"We're running _out _of time, Beast Boy! If we don't find Robin soon..." Cyborg tells him.

Starfire comes into the room with Silkie perched on her shoulder.

"I heard the shouting. What is going on, friends? Have we found Robin?"

Cyborg gets up abruptly and storms out of the kitchen and into the hall to his room. We hear the sound of a door hissing open and closed, then locking.

Starfire stares at the hall, then at us.

"What did he mean by, 'If we don't find Robin soon'?" Raven wondered out loud.

This is all too much right now. I get up and quickly run around the living room a few times. When I'm done, the milk from the cereal on my lap is dry. I pick off the remaining cereal pieces, and start to go outside. I need a walk.

#********#

There's a secret path I like to hike around that I discovered the day I became a Titan. After the explosion, I ran all the way to Jump City, which only took about a half hour. I was holed-up in an alleyway somewhere near downtown Jump when I first heard the name "Teen Titans". I had lived in Newburry all my life, which was a small town a few miles from Jump City, so the Titans never really reached word up there. In that lonely alleyway, I was scared, hungry, and confused. People never tried to help me. I was a freak to them. A scrawny, pale, lost freak. How could I show them I wasn't so fragile? No one had seen my powers yet, so, I made the second worst decision in my life. I summoned my new and unknown energy, created a large blue force field around me, and walked to a heavily-occupied park. There, I started running laps, faster, faster, faster. I thought people would stop and see how powerful I really was. They would stop tossing me aside like trash. I broke my run to face the gathering crowd, when I heard a scream. People were pointing at me, with fear plastered on their faces. I heard someone telling others to call the police. Others were throwing things at me. All I can remember was thinking, _Stop. Stop pointing. I'm not bad, don't be afraid. Don't cry. Don't scream. Stop. _

Then, I heard one voice that stood out against the rest.

"Someone get the Teen Titans!"

I didn't know what to do, so I ran. I ran all through the city, not knowing where to go. I ran without thinking, until I felt myself hit something hard and metallic. I looked up.

I had run into a street lamp.

Of course- going about three-hundred and fifty miles per hour- I blacked out.

When I had woken up, I was faced with a black-masked stranger. He was watching me in the corner of the room, as if I was some sort of disease. He made me angry. I summoned that signature Ross courage and spoke first,

"What are you looking at?"

He smiled and walked over to the side of the bed.

"You must be that crazy girl they were talking about on the news." He said.

I flinched at the word 'crazy'. That was a crazy thing I did, but I was far from being it.

"I'm not crazy." I told him.

"Clearly."

He took out the IVs in my arm and looked at me. Our two masked faces stared at each other. Suddenly, he held out his hand,

"I'm Robin, leader of the Teen Titans. Who are you?"

I looked at his outstretched hand and took it with my pale one.

"Ca-Cyan Rush. My name is Cyan Rush."

#************************#

I walk through the path that Raven had shown me that day.

I remember walking through it with her. Robin didn't want me out of the med bay for a few days- even though I wasn't injured, he was still suspicious and wanted to question me. Raven had said that she could sense I wasn't harmful, but she _could _sense how scared I was, so she took me through the flowered dirt road to help me "meditate" or something. It worked, and when I became an official Titan a week later, I had started walking through it almost every day.

I casually view the colorful flowers and trees, letting my mind float aimlessly. If Robin never comes back, who will take charge? Cyborg would be my guess, and I think he's fitting to be our next leader. Even so, Robin is-well- Robin. He seems to know everything about anything and anyone. If we didn't have him, the Teen Titans wouldn't be the same.

What am I thinking? Of course it wouldn't be the same- we're like a family. No family would be the same without all its members. That's just how it works.

Well, for most families, anyway.

I furiously kick a rock as hard as I can, and it shoots up into the air like a rocket.

Not my family. My family would be just fine without me. They would be happy. They would be stress-free. They would be richer. They would be respected.

But what's the use worrying about it?

They're dead.

And it's all my fault.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author here...again. Merry holidays! Here's your present. FYI, chapter 2 has been completely revised, so, if you have not read the new chapter 2, please do or some parts of this chapter will not make any sense. Also, this chapter is best read in a dark room, with a blankie and hot cocoa. Okay, not cocoa, you might spill it, and then you'd blame me for telling you to have it. But in all seriousness, things might get a tad bit scary, unless you're stone-cold.**

…

**Okay go read.**

**WAIT, WAIT! I almost forgot! I do not own the Teen Titans. Only my OC. There. You can read now.**

**#************#**

I'm about to close my eyes and drift off to sleep when I hear a knock at the door.

I grab for my mask and put it on in less than half a second. Just in time too, because the intruder opens the door themselves as soon as I have the mask fully in place. I try to see who it is, but there are no lights on in the hallway. Strange. There are always at least one or two emergency lights on in the tower. I jump a bit when the figure starts to move towards my bed. I quietly focus my energy on my hands without looking away. They soon glow blue under the covers. Only a faint blue light glows through the covers, but not enough to brighten the room.

"Whoever's there, you'd better turn around and start walking before I tear you a new one!" I announce to the stranger.

They don't answer. The intruder takes another big, silent step towards my bed.

I start wildly going through observations in my head. Tall. Cyborg? No, this person's skinny. Robin? No. Starfire? No. Raven? No. Beast Boy? No. They seem to be exaggerated, like a cartoon of a man gone wrong. They have long, drooping limbs, and a tall, stretched body. This person's intruding. This person's in my room. They could be dangerous. Weapons? None that I can see. Stance? They seem to be at a relaxed posture. If they aren't here to kill me,

"Then who are you?" I suddenly ask aloud.

My voice seems to echo throughout the tower. It hangs in the air and then fades.

Suddenly, the figure starts running madly towards me, their legs and arms like twigs blowing violently in the wind. I lash out with my bright blue energy, creating a small shock wave.

In that very second, I see the face of the stranger. Staring through my mask. Staring at _me_.

He's smiling. A big, yellow, dangerous smile. His eyes are wrinkled with happiness, as if he just saw the most amusing thing. His expression is unfading. I stare at him until I see his shrunk pupils move to my shaking hands that still glow blue. He lets out a guttural screech that sounds like nails on a chalkboard. I quickly cover my ears and with that, dissipate the only source of light in that big, dark room.

This time I'm the one to let out a scream.

**#************#**

I wake up covered in a cold sweat. I desperately reach for my mask, but realize that it's already on for some strange reason. I jerk out of my bed when I hear another knock at my door. I bolt over to the large metal door and throw it open.

It's Robin.

**Yeah, I know this is short, but it's Christmas here at my house, and everyone's busy, and I had to redo chapter two…so yeah. Also, the best gift for Christmas is a review and favorite! Just kidding, it's a pony.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Heyo! No new news to share, just popped in to say,**

**I do not own the Teen Titans [only my OC]**

**#**********#**

We're all gathered around Robin in the living room, each one of us trying to talk over another.

"Dude, where were you?"

"Are you okay, friend Robin?"

"I tried to reach you telepathically, but you were too far away."

"We were all worried sick!"

"Seriously, are you injured?"

Robin raises a gloved hand to silence us.

"I'm fine everyone. Trust me, I'm okay." He says.

I look him in the eyes; searching for some sort of sign that he's lying. He couldn't just run away for that long and be okay. I remember what Cyborg and Raven had told me about the other times he had left, and how trouble always seemed to come with him. But his masked eyes tell me nothing. Unlike my mask, his eyes are hidden completely, whereas mine are visible behind a clear plastic.

"Cyan, I'm fine, really." Robin assures me. I blush after I realize he caught me staring.

"If you're fine, then tell us what happened. Tell us where you went." Cyborg says to Robin.

Robin looks away nervously for a split second, and then turns to us.

"I went to that small town a few miles up north- Newburry."

I take in a sharp breath, and everyone moves their eyes to me. I start to sweat. They're going to wonder about me; going to ask questions.

"Friend Rush, do you know of this place that Robin speaks of?" Starfire asks me with raised eyebrows.

"U-um-" I stutter.

"Yeah, do you know that place?" Beast Boy questions me.

I rub my neck and turn my eyes toward the ground. I swallow the words that are starting to form in my head.

"You live there." Raven confirms.

I snap my head towards her and stare at her.

"What?" Cyborg says.

"I thought you lived in Jump City your whole life!" Beast Boy says to me.

"That is what you told us the day we met you." Robin recollects.

I try to speak, but no words come out. Raven does the speaking for me, much to my dismay.

"She was lying. She lived in Newburry, before she came here." Raven says without breaking eye contact with me.

Anger boils up inside of me. Raven- she can't do that. She can't just accuse me of lying. I _was_ lying, but she doesn't know anything. She doesn't know that it was for a good reason. I needed to protect myself. She doesn't know anything.

Beast Boy takes a sheepish step towards me.

"But- you said…"

"I KNOW WHAT I SAID!" I roar at him.

Everyone goes silent. As silent as my parents were when I waved my last goodbye to them.

Stop it. Stop it.

Robin takes a deep breath and starts to speak. His words are meant for me, but I don't hear him. Everyone is so far away. It's only me.

I only focus on my breathing. In and out. Suddenly, everyone starts talking again. I need to leave.

"Shut up! All of you!" I lift my head and stare at everyone through a film of tears. "You just don't get it. I lied for a reason. A good reason! I needed…" I glance at the identical worried faces of the five people in front of me. "I needed to protect myself."

Cyborg looks at me. His face is kind, yet scared.

"Protect yourself from what, Rush?"

I turn my back to everyone and start out the door. I'm done talking, and they let me leave. I don't slam the door behind me; I just let it gently close. As I walk through the garden pathway, Cyborg's words still echo through my ears. _Protect yourself from what, Rush?_

I smirk.

Not from what.

From who.

#************#

The leaves crunch beneath my feet as I walk under the moonlit sky. How long have I been out here? Minutes? Hours?

It doesn't matter. The longer, the better. I'm sure the Teen Titans are still trying to comprehend what I had said to them at the Titans Tower. _I'm_ still trying to comprehend it. I shouldn't even have said anything, but I was too angry to just let Raven keep talking. Now they know something's wrong- either something wrong with me, or something wrong with my past. They're going to keep asking me questions, and now there's nothing I can do. I screwed up.

"Rush?"

I whirl around and see Robin standing near a large flower bush. Was he following me this whole time?

"What?" I say.

He smiles, sits on the bench nearest to me and motions for me to sit with him. I reluctantly take a seat next to him. We sit in silence for a few minutes before Robin speaks again.

"I've never really come out here much. Guess I don't like gardens."

I don't want to talk to him, but I do anyway.

"Huh? Why?" I ask, trying to sound disinterested.

He shrugs,

"I don't know. Bees kind of freak me out. Good thing they don't come out at night."

"And it's getting pretty cold, too." I add.

"Yeah."

I shift uncomfortably as I realize that he isn't going to leave until we have a real conversation.

"Hey, you know that we aren't going to try and dig up all your secrets, right?" He says.

I wish I could say 'I know that', but I can't. I thought that I would have to keep my secrets buried deep, or else they would be found- but if what Robin is saying is true, then I don't.

"You mean that?" I ask, staring at the withering brown leaves on the trees around us.

He turns his head towards me and stares right through my mask.

"We all have secrets, Rush. Cyborg, Starfire, Beast Boy, Raven, me. We all do. And we all share what we want to share and keep to ourselves what we want to. Why should you be any different? You're a Teen Titan, and a friend."

I've never heard Robin call me a friend before. Honestly, I wasn't even sure he liked me. Hearing the word "friend" has been foreign, until I met the Teen Titans. Now I hear it almost every day. They think of me as their friend, but do I think of them as mine?

"I just thought you guys still don't trust me." I tell Robin.

He gives me a puzzled look, as if I said the craziest thing.

"Why wouldn't we? You haven't given us any reason not to."

I smile to myself. He has no idea what's coming.

#************#

**Hey readers! I've decided to change the name of this story! Only, I can't think of any good names….**

**PM me any name suggestions! It would be really helpful! Also, there will be no OC/Robin romance- just good old team bonding!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author here! New story title suggestions are still open! So please, seriously. I need help.**

**Anywho, I only own my OC[s]!**

_**Wait, what's that? OCs with an s? Multiple original characters? Whaaatt?**_

**Hahaha, silly readers! Don't listen to me! I know nothing! It's not like there will be a new character introduced….or something…. Why you looking at me like that?! I know nothing!**

**#************#**

"Sit down, guys. We need to talk."

I close the door behind me and toss my jacket onto the floor. My teammate's eyes follow me with question.

I sit on the sofa in the Tower's entryway and motion for them to do the same. Starfire gladly plops down next to me, but everyone else is hesitant. I give my best half-smile to show I'm not angry anymore. I didn't talk to anyone yesterday after the little debacle- except Robin. After our own chat, I just walked off without so much as a goodbye, so he's still worried about me.

"Really, this is important. I'm not angry anymore, promise." I assure them.

Beast Boy, followed by Raven, Cyborg, and Robin, sit down by me. I take a deep breath and start,

"I'm going to tell you all about where I came from. And…and what happened to me."

Robin tries to stop me, "Cyan, I told you that you didn't have to-"

"I know. I _want _to."

He sits back and shuts up. I continue,

"I- well, as you all know now", I glance at Raven, "I _did _live in Newburry and I lied to you guys about it. For a good reason. Like I said, I was protecting myself. Protecting myself from this man," I take out a photo I clipped from a newspaper, and place it on the coffee table for all to see.

"His name…is . He…_he ruined my life_." I take the photo of the smiling, youthful man and crumple it up. I throw it onto the floor like the scum he is. Then, I take another deep breath, and proceed.

"When I was born, I had something wrong with me. I was crippled from birth, and they couldn't figure out why. I was paralyzed from about here," I motion to the top of my stomach, "to my feet. My hands, from the elbows down were paralyzed, too. For fifteen years I was like that. I couldn't learn to drive, cook, clean. Nothing. My parents cared enough for me to teach me to read, and basic things like that…but they were so busy. I know they loved me…but," My voice cracks and I look down at my feet. Starfire puts a hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah, it was just- it was really lonely. Just me."

Everyone is silently staring at the floor.

"I used to," I chuckle at the memory, "I used to draw pictures, things I'd see outside the window, and one day I started thinking that I was like real life Rapunzel. You know, locked away in the tower, never seeing the world. I even had the long hair to match. I guess those were the happiest times, when I was little. When I didn't know any better."

I smile and look at everyone. Robin glances at me and gives a slight nod, as if he understands what I mean.

"Anyway, my dad worked as a lawyer, and he had some friends in high places. A medical research facility had been studying something that could "cure" paralysis. There was this man that my dad knew from college that worked there, and he pulled a few strings. I would be the first one to get the operation. My parents decided it was for the best- even if it wasn't one-hundred percent safe. I wanted the operation, but if I knew how dangerous it was…I don't think I would have felt the same."

I clench my fists. If I had known what a freak it would turn me into, I definitely wouldn't have felt the same.

"That man, Dr. Stormer, was the head surgeon. He replaced the drug they were going to inject into me with his own invention. The original was supposed to be injected into the cerebrum, or the part of the brain that controls motor skills. I don't know the details, but it was supposed to kick-start my motor skills, because my own cerebrum hadn't been fully-developed, or something. Dr. Stormer's own injection, however, was supposed to not only kick-start my motor skills, but- almost literally- speed them up. My brain would be able to process movement a thousand times faster. Not only that, but the injection also had a muscle growth hormone. It obviously didn't do its job," I smile and gesture to my skinny body. "There were other things involved, too. But I don't know what they were."

"Friend Rush, how do you know all this?" Starfire asks me.

"Um…the day of - of the…" I stutter. If I'm not ready to think about the details of that day, then I can't explain it.

"You know what?" I say to everyone. "That's a story for another day. I think I'm done talking- for now."

Suddenly, an alarm blares through the tower. Robin stands up.

"Titans, trouble!" He announces. Everyone quickly follows him to the Main Ops room. I get up and start to leave, when Raven calls to me,

"Cyan, can I talk to you?"

"Uh, sure."

We both sit back down, and Raven folds her hands in her lap.

"I'm sorry, for yesterday."

"O-oh. It's alright." I tell her.

"No, really. It wasn't my place to tell everyone things you should have said yourself. I know what it's like to have a past you don't want everyone to know about." She tells me with sincerity.

I smile- an honest smile.

"Thanks. I'm not going to lie- it really did upset me, but I mean it when I say it's really okay now."

"Good. I promise it won't happen again." She says.

Our communicators flash and Cyborg's voice crackles through,

"Rae, Rush, get down here! We've got a bank robbery! It's the Hive Five!" He tells us.

"On our way," Raven answers him.

We exchange glances, and take off towards the doors. I can't help but feel a little excited, my first battle fought, with my team at my side.

They _are _my team now. I never thought I'd see the day when Candace Ross had people on her side.


	6. Chapter 6

**I do….NOT own the Teen Titans! If I did, there would most definitely be a sixth season!**

**What whaat?**

**#************#**

Everyone, except Robin- who went ahead of us on his Bird Bike or whatever he calls it- runs through the shopping center vigorously. I seem to be the only one eager, and- admittedly- nervous.

Cyborg calls us through our communicators. "Okay, guys, bank robbery on Jefferson Street. Head west."

Robin also contacts us, "I'm going to sneak inside the back and try to hack the security cameras inside the vault. Cyborg, Raven, and Starfire- you guys get to the bank's entrance and be ready to fight. But before you do that, Beast Boy and Cyan Rush will run ahead and get a clear look at what we're up against, got that?" He says.

"Copy that, Rob." Cyborg says. He nods at me and Beast Boy, and I start to stretch as Beast Boy morphs into a cheetah. We start to run and after a few seconds, I realize that the green changeling isn't behind me.

I turn around and see him a few yards away.

"Hey! Think you can slow down, Rush? Just 'cause I'm the fastest land mammal on earth, doesn't mean I can sprint at three-hundred miles per hour!" He yells to me.

I quickly dart over to Beast Boy and give him an apologetic smile,

"Sorry."

"S'okay, now let's get going!"

"Right."

We start running again, this time at a speed limit of 60, which feels incredibly slow to me. I can't tell if that's because I'm anxious, or because I can run roughly two-hundred miles per hour short of the speed of sound. Finally, we arrive at the bank, and take cover behind a parked car. I scan the scene, but don't see anyone leaving or entering the bank.

"See anything?" I ask Beast Boy. I glance over to him, and see nothing.

"Beast Boy? Where'd you go?"

I jump as Beast Boy morphs into his human form right in front of me. I must have looked pretty surprised, because he bursts into laughter. I quickly cover his tofu-stuffing-hole so as not to blow our cover.

"You-you should have seen your face!" He laughs though my hand. "I morphed into a flea w-when you weren't looking! Haha- priceless!"

"Do you want us to get caught? No more games, BB!" I scold him.

"That was a good prank, though! You gotta admit!" He tells me.

"Yeah. Yeah, you should write that one down. That _was_ pretty funny." I agree.

We sit in silence for a few seconds, and then erupt into stifled giggles.

"Beast Boy, Rush, anything to report?" Cyborg asks me through the communicator.

"Nothing so far, Cy. The outside seems empty. We're thinking the Hive might still be inside the bank." I answer.

"I don't think so, Cyan." Robin's voice crackles. "I'm in the vents, I've hacked the cameras everywhere, and nothing's show up on them."

"Cyborg, how'd you know it was the Hive in the first place?"

"Or that there was a bank robbery here?" Beast Boy adds.

Silence from the communicator in my hand.

"Cyborg! You there?" Robin shouts.

Beast Boy and I exchange worried looks. Suddenly, the radio crackles to life,

"I-I'm sorry, guys." Cyborg says quietly. "But I'm _not _Cyborg." An unknown woman's voice comes through the radio.

My communicator shuts off, and I stare at the black screen. What is going on?

"Rush look out!" I hear Beast Boy's voice yell.

I turn around and a smiling woman with short red hair looks down at me.

"Now why don't you come with us, darling? Don't talk, just nod and you won't be shot." She says calmly.

I turn to look at Beast Boy. He's been knocked unconscious, and a man with the same swirling tattoos as the red-haired woman is dragging him away towards a white van.

"Beast B-"

"Shut up." The woman covers my mouth. "What did I say?"

She nudges me with her pistol, and I ever so slowly stand up. I need to act now.

"You said not to talk." I taunt.

"Why you little-!"

I grab her gun and twist it away from us, leaving her vulnerable. Before she can even blink, I have her pinned down on the ground. I scramble for my communicator while trying to keep her pinned.

"Robin-Robin, come in! It's-I've!" No one answers. I start to panic.

"No, no no no! Someone answer! Starfire? Raven?"

I have to help Beast Boy. The woman struggles under my hold, but I don't let go. I hear a car door close, and I see the tattooed man slam the van closed and get in the driver's seat. He apparently doesn't care about his partner, because he starts the car and begins to drive away.

"Gardner! Don't just leave me!" The woman screams at him, but he's too far away to hear.

I need to catch up to that car, but this woman is clearly a criminal, I can't let her go. I growl in frustration, and then realize something obvious.

"Oh, duh!"

"What? You're going to let me go?" The woman asks pitifully.

"Something like that."

I knock her out with one blow to the head, and silently apologize as I drag her behind a row of trash cans. Now that that's out of the way, I sprint in the direction of the van.

I come to an intersection, and silently scold myself as I look at all the cars I have to avoid. I make a wild guess and turn right, dodging the incoming cars as best I can. _Please _Beast Boy, don't be so hard to save. This was supposed to be a simple bank robbery, but now he's missing, Cyborg's up to something, and I can't contact anyone.

_Beep!_

I impulsively generate a force field in the direction of the noise, and would've hit a car if it wouldn't have been for that. An angry driver yells some unpleasant words at me, but I dispel the bubble around me and keep running. Finally, I see the white van a block away, and let out a burst of speed to catch up with it. I follow it to a large warehouse. How original.

The man gets out of the van and drags Beast Boy into the building with him. I spot a high window, climb up a rickety ladder, and sneak into the warehouse.

It's ominously dark in the room, and I can hear the mechanics of my mask working against the dark. Suddenly, I can see everything with a green tint. I take a cautious step, and the wood boards creak underneath me. I pick up on the sound of a familiar voice and run to the metal railing.

I look down to the first floor and see my teammates- all of them, even Cyborg- tied up in a circle of chairs, with multiple thugs surrounding them. Starfire is shouting angrily at them in what must be her native language.

"Starfire, please be quiet, you'll provoke them." Robin says to her.

"Oh, we were provoked by the Teen Titans a long time ago…"

A wrinkly man steps out of the shadows. He's holding a cane, and dressed in a dusty black tuxedo that looks like he could have pulled it out of an attic. It's covered in dirt and cobwebs, making him look ancient. His silvery brown hair seems muted in color, from what must be the cause of age.

Okay, he's old.

A slightly younger woman dressed in a yellow business dress follows behind him. She stays silent, staring at the floor.

"The Teen Titans. What a name." He sneers. "Never in my ninety-eight years of living have I ever had such a _nuisance._"

"Who are you?" Beast Boy demands, now conscious.

"You can call me Client, but that information won't be important, soon. I've _gathered _you all here to kill you, but that doesn't mean that you don't deserve at least an explanation for why."

I stay silent, ready to blast my energy at the man at any moment.

"You see, that girl you added to your team, what do you call her, Cyan Rush? She originally was supposed to go to me. You _stole her_."

I clench my fists at those words. I am not an object to be sold or bought. I am Cyan Rush, Teen Titan.

"What?" Raven exclaims.

The man makes a hollowed chuckle. He encircles my teammates dangerously.

"She never told you the full story, did she? That sneaky brat. When I get her back, I'll fix that attitude of hers."

"You will _not _lay a hand on her, Client! Right now, she's at the Tower, contacting Titans East and the police. You'll be put behind bars before you can even blink." Robin says confidently.

"I don't think so." Client snaps his fingers, and I hear someone emerge behind me. I look up from the railing and see a thug coming at me with a shotgun. Luckily, I'm ready, and I blast energy from my hands, knocking the gun straight out of his hands. He's not alone, though, and another hidden thug kicks me in the side. Hard.

I fall to the ground with the breath knocked out of me. He grabs me and chucks me over the railing. A split second before I hit the concrete, I'm able to generate a small force field, absorbing most of the damage. Still hurts, though, and I think I might have a sprained ankle.

"Friend Rush! Are you of the injured?!" Starfire shouts frantically at me.

"Ugh…" I try to get up, but fall back down in a daze.

I see Client advancing towards me, and he jerks me up from the ground by my blonde hair. I yell out in pain.

"Get away from her!" Cyborg demands.

I claw at his hands and try to kick him. My energy is almost gone, and I'm helpless. I punch him in the gut, and he drops me suddenly. My head knocks the ground and I get a splitting headache.

"You brat! Time to teach you some manners!"

He lifts his cane in the air, ready to crash it down onto my head.

"Rush! Fight back!" Beast Boy screams.

I-I can't. My eyes start to close as I wait for the approaching pain, but it never comes. I crack my eyes open and see the neatly-dressed woman blocking the man's arm.

"Please, sir. They'd want her undamaged." She says calmly, her voice like water.

He puts the cane down and composes himself as if nothing happened.

"You're right. Tie her up and let me finish with her friends." He tells her.

She drags me to a nearby chair and bounds my hands and feet. Client turns back to my teammates.

"Now, maybe you would all understand why I'm taking her if I told you something, her powers were not accidental, we've been planning the operation for decades. The doctor in charge, Stormer, made a mistake. You see, Cyan Rush," He motions to me. "Was supposed to be stronger, faster, almost indestructible. But Dr. Stormer didn't make the serum right, and her body rejected part of it. We told him that any mistakes made would be punishable by death. So, like the fool he is, he escaped the country after blowing up the medical research facility that the Ross family was staying at."

No. He doesn't know, he couldn't.

"Ross family?" Robin asks.

I shut my eyes. I don't want to hear what he says next.

"Of course she didn't share that. Your teammate, Cyan Rush, is Candace Ross."

Robin and the others all gasp in surprise. I keep my eyes closed. I don't want to face this, not after all I've been through with the Titans.

"You mean Rush is really-"

"Rush is really the missing girl, yes." Client answers Beast Boy. "After being the only survivor of the explosion, Candace somehow found the prototype mask and outfit we had been making, and changed her identity. It didn't take long for us to finally track her down- there's a tracker in the mask."

I silently curse the blue and white accessory I've kept by my side since that fateful day. It was a symbol of the start of my new life, but now it looks like a symbol of the end of it.

"The police are _still _looking for you, Candace. It's hopeless, really. A few days from now, you'll be off with me to Russia. I'll make a pretty penny selling you to some up-and-coming terrorists." Client turns to me. I open my eyes to look at him and glare furiously. My anger seems to fuel my energy, and I have the strength to burst out of my confinements, but not yet. Client smiles smugly at my silence and continues,

"Of course, before I make any travel plans, I'll need to be sure we're not followed, which is why I've lead you all right into my trap. Rosetta here," The woman comes to his side. "Helped me accomplish just that. She has a special talent."

Rosetta maintains her bland expression as she speaks in Cyborg's voice, then Robin's. Client smiles proudly and explains,

"We easily hacked your communicators, and disabled Cyborg's and Robin's. Rosetta spoke for them. Of course, they never knew this, because whenever one of them would try to contact any of you, Rosetta answered them in whoever's voice Cyborg or Robin was calling. Rosetta told Cyan and Beast Boy to run ahead to the bank, so we could easily capture Raven, Starfire, and Cyborg without anyone noticing. Robin was never at the bank, but captured a few minutes before. Then, Beast Boy was taken, and Candace was purposefully lured here. The pieces all falls into place, and now, it's time to finish the puzzle." Client motions to the thugs, and they point their shotguns at each of the Titans.

Now.

I blast the ropes apart and rush at Client. I knock him off his feet and head straight for my team. Circling around them, I untie their ropes while at the same time shooting the guns out of the thug's hands with energy blasts. With all of us freed, it takes only a few minutes to knock them out.

I bitterly walk over to Client, who's lying weakly on the floor. Robin puts a hand on my shoulder, seeing the look of utter disgust on my face for the man.

"Just leave him; the police will take care of the rest." He says.

I nod and walk away with him. As I am, I can just barely hear Client whisper,

"Your parents would be _so _disappointed."


	7. Chapter 7

**Author here! I only own my OCs!**

**Wow, that was quick. I feel like something's missing… a clever quip perhaps?**

**Nah… I'm too lazy…**

**[Exhibit A- The result of a three-day weekend]**

**#**********#**

I sit by myself, eating a lazily prepared sandwich. Everyone else is training, but Robin told me I should take a break. My ankle doesn't even hurt that bad, but he insisted.

I can hear faded voices from down the hall. I guess relaxing is better that training, but I feel so inexperienced compared to the rest of the team, and I want to learn how to actually throw a good punch.

Client had said that I was supposed to be stronger. For some reason, that makes me feel as though I failed somehow. But it wasn't my fault my body rejected the serum, it was Stormer's.

Ugh, even saying his name makes anger flash in my chest. I can't believe that man was capable of all those horrible things. If he's still alive, he won't be when I'm through with him.

_Is _he even still alive?

No. I don't want to think about that right now. He has to be. He has to be, so I can kill him. _I _want to be the person he last sees. That will never happen if I don't grow stronger.

I stand up and march to the training room. Who cares what Robin thinks? I'm not hurt. I'm fine.

Why didn't the injection work? If it did, I could kill Stormer easily. At the same time, it would make me an even bigger freak than I already am.

Why can't this just be over with? Am I freak or not?! Do I want my powers or not?! What is it?!

Robin stands at the entrance of the gym.

"Rush? What are you doing here? I told you to-"

"Yeah, yeah." I push past Robin and approach a punching bag. He follows me with concern in his eyes.

"Cyan-"

"I'm fine. My ankles not sprained? See?"

He surprises me when he grabs my arm and pulls me aside roughly. He looks truly angry with me.

"Cyan, stop acting like you're okay- you're not. I didn't pull you out of training because you were hurt physically, but because you're-"

"Crazy? Is that it?" I snap at him.

"Let me finish!" He practically yells at me. "You are _hurt_. I can see it in your face every single day. Every single day since I met you. You act as though nothing's wrong but I know how much pain you're in. Nobody's invincible, and those who act like it are just damaging themselves even more. Stop acting. You have to face this."

I stare at him, completely at a loss of words. He lets my arm go, which hurts from the pressure- but not noticed until now, and points to the door.

"Go to your room, relax, and take some time to think. Please. I'm asking you as a friend, not a leader." He says to me.

I silently leave the gym and go to my bedroom. I sit on the desk chair and take off my mask, rubbing my eyes. What is he asking of me? To face what happened? I can't do that. I'm not strong enough. I'm not. If doing that will help me, then I can't be helped. I just can't. Forgetting it all will be easier. Remembering is hard. I try to forget to become a better person, can't I do that? What's the point in facing it? It won't make me stronger, I'll just be burdened.

I lay my head on the desk and close my eyes. Why can't this be easier? All I ever wanted was to make a difference for people, without being different. Why is that so hard to do? What's the point of this?

Why can't I just start over?

#**********#

"I love you, mom."

Mom looks over to me from her spot on the park bench.

"Love you too, Candace." She returns her shaded eyes to her book.

I scan the playground. It's empty, except us two.

"Where's dad?" I ask mom.

"At a meeting." She answers absently.

I glance down at my bare feet. I laugh as I wiggle them in the sandbox.

"Mom!"

"No shouting, Candace. What is it?"

"Where's my wheelchair?"

Mom carries a bowl of cereal to my place at the kitchen table. I ignore it, and push the wheels of my wheelchair away from the table. I scoot over to the living room, where dad is reading a book. He doesn't look at me as I move past him and go to the unlit fireplace. There's something stuck in between the burned logs, but I can't reach down far enough to dig it out. My eyes turn to dad, who's staring at me fearfully.

"Don't touch the fire, Candace Dawn Ross." Dad says, using my full name.

"What?"

"He said don't touch the fire, Cyan." Mom warns.

I look down, the crimson fire dancing around my fingers. I quickly pull them away, inspecting my hand for burn marks.

"Cyan Ross, we have to go, the rest of the team is waiting." Robin says behind me.

I turn around and see him standing there with my parents. I lift my hand to my face, feeling the smooth plastic of my mask.

"Okay, let's go." I tell him.

Mom reaches out and grabs hold of my arm.

"Candace, where are you going?" She demands.

"Don't touch me!" I scream at her. "I'm not Candace!"

"Yes, you are." She tells me.

I look up at her from my wheelchair, Robin is gone.

"No, I'm not! Leave me alone!" I stand up, and run across Jump City to meet my teammates. In the distance, Robin stands at the Titans Tower with the rest of the group. I'm running as fast as I can, using my super speed to get there.

"Candace, where's your family?" Cyborg asks me.

I clench my fists and summon my energy.

"I don't know what you're taking about. I'm Cyan Rush." I growl.

"Rush." I hear Raven's voice echo through my mind.

I turn towards the voice. I'm all alone now, there's darkness all around me.

"Rush," Her voice repeats.

_Wake up._

#**********#

I slowly open my eyes. They feel heavy and wet. I must have been crying. The memory of the dream fades as I try desperately to remember the details of it. I glance over to the window- the sun is setting.

_Cyan, are you getting this message?_

I hear Raven's voice in my head. She knows I can't communicate back, but I try to somehow let her know I am. I calm myself so she can sense I'm listening.

_Okay, I can feel your emotions, are you feeling alright?_

I try to stay neutral, but she must sense the tension in my mind.

_You seem very distressed. Your emotions are everywhere- it was throwing off my meditation. _

Sorry my feelings were distracting you, Raven. I scoff inwardly.

_What are you so upset about? You've been crying, haven't you?_

I retreat back under the covers, as if I can hide from her voice.

_Fine, don't tell me. I can wait. Just know, Rush, that you can talk to any of us._

Whatever. I can feel her presence in my mind leaving, and I try to go back to sleep. My mind wanders as I slowly drift from consciousness.

The Titans know more about me than I've ever wanted them to- but is it better that way? Can they help me get through this?

No, I don't need help. If I just forget about the past, I'll be okay. I know it.

But how can I forget, when every time I see myself, the memories rush back to me?

**#*********# **

**Done! Tell me what you think in the review section! It would be greatly appreciated! And if you're wondering why Cyan's dream was so confusing, just remember- it's a dream. It's supposed to be confusing.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Heyo, readers! Yeah, I know, it's been a while since I've updated- but I'm currently working on another story. So, look forward to that! Or not…you can do whatever- I'm not your parent.**

**Also, there's a little Spanish in this chappie! I will translate the words if they're important- but otherwise, you don't need to worry about dialogue you don't understand.**

**#**********#**

"Yo, Cyan! You've got some people here to see you!" Cyborg calls to me.

I slip on my mask and take a quick look in the mirror to make sure there's no trace of the tears I shed minutes ago. Walking down the hallway, I try to hear what the unfamiliar voices are saying in the next room. I can just barely make out a few words.

"…Will be a big help!"

"Sí, él tiene razón!"

I hesitate before turning the corner into the Main Ops room. Taking a deep breath, I try to look as calm as possible, but I've got so much on my mind that I probably still appear a little tense.

"Morning, Cyan." Robin greets me as I walk in. He's sitting on the couch with a red-haired and blue-eyed boy who smiles confidently at me.

"Hey there," The boy says.

"Hi!" I say cheerfully. His smile is contagious.

"Cyan Rush, meet Kid Flash. Kid Flash, meet Cyan Rush." Robin introduces us.

"I heard from Bird Boy that you're a speedster?" Kid Flash asks me.

I raise an eyebrow, what's a speedster?

"What?" I question.

"Y'know, a hero with speed powers! Like me and Mas y Menos." He explains.

As if on cue, two short boys burst into the room. They look like twins, and they're both wearing the same white unitard.

"Hola! Nos llamamos Mas y Menos!"

"Your names are Mas y Menos?" I translate.

"Sí! Usted sabe hablar español?" They ask me.

"Yeah, I learned Spanish a while back. Puede que hable Inglés?" I ask them.

"No, no se puede hablar Inglés. Pero, podemos entenderlo." They answer.

"Hello? English, please!" Kid Flash says.

I turn back to Kid Flash and Robin and give an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, I got caught up in the moment. I asked them if they knew how to speak English, but they can only understand it." I say.

"Oh. Yeah, it can be hard to understand them- but I usually just tune them out." Kid Flash smiles.

"Oye!" Mas exclaims.

"Anyway, KF and Mas y Menos are here to help you with your power-well, speed power." Robin says.

I blink. I don't want help with my speed power. I want it gone.

Robin leads us outside, where we come to a large field. He sits down at a bench while the rest of us approach the dirt track.

"Alright, first things first- what can you already do? Run ten laps." Kid Flash tells me.

I feel a little nervous. The track is long, and I don't know if I'll be able to power-run for a whole ten laps. I stretch and go to the starting line.

"Ready…set…" Kid Flash gets a stopwatch ready.

"Comienzo!" Mas y Menos shout.

I bolt down the track, going faster and faster until I reach my limit of 500 miles per hour. I do fine for the first five laps, but then I notice myself going slower, until I can't run anymore. I'm completely spent, and I plop down on the grass sluggishly.

"Um…that was only seven laps." Kid Flash looks down at me worriedly.

"S-sorry…" I gasp.

"Don't worry- that's what we're here for, to help you train!"

Mas y Menos help me up, and Kid Flash hands me a protein bar.

"What's this for?" I ask him.

"Maybe the problem is that you have sped-up metabolism- like me, so you get tired easily. That's why I always keep a snack in my gloves." He shows me a secret compartment full of protein bars.

"I don't know if that's what's making me slow." I tell him.

"Well, eat it anyway- you look like you need a lot more meat on your bones."

I ignore the comment and unwrap the food. It tastes bland and dry, but it's better than nothing.

"Posiblemente hay un problema con su ropa?" Mas suggests.

"A problem with my clothes?" I look down at my blue and white striped jumpsuit. It's a little baggy- but it's always fit me fine.

"Yeah, maybe you could wear a unitard- all the speedsters do!" Kid Flash says.

"I never thought of that, it _would_ help me be more aerodynamic." I say agreeably. In truth, I don't agree at all. I like my outfit- it helps me forget that I'm different.

"Hey, Rob! Do you guys know a tailor?" KF calls to Robin.

"Why?" Robin asks.

"Cyan should wear real superhero gear- it might help her speed. Also, right now she looks like a dang civilian! Well, minus the mask." Kid answers.

I want to look like a civilian.

I try to keep my expression neutral as Robin thinks about it.

"Okay, I'll ask someone. But aren't you two supposed to be helping her train, not playing dress-up?" Robin asks, one eyebrow raised behind the mask.

"Okay, Cyan! Two more laps!" Kid Flash tells me.

"Again?" I moan as I walk back to the track.

"Más rápido!" Mas y Menos shout at me.

"I know! I'm going!"

This is going to be a long day.

#**********#

I stand up and look at my reflection in the window. My sleek new unitard makes me look like a real superheroine. It matches perfectly with my blue gloves, white boots, and blue-and-white mask. While it helps that this outfit's the same color as my old jumpsuit, the new style is foreign to me.

"Well, after seven whole weeks of non-stop practice, I think you're ready to race Mas y Menos!" Kid Flash tells me.

"Why not race you?" I ask him.

"Please, I'm almost as fast as the Flash himself! You couldn't stand a chance!"

"I bet I could beat you."

"No way, sister!"

"Let's race then, and see." I challenge.

Kid Flash steps forward and shakes my hand.

"Challenge accepted, Blue." He says.

"It's _Cyan_."

"You'll be feeling blue when you lose this race!"

#**********#

"On the marks!" Starfire says.

"Begin the setting…"

"And commence the racing!"

I rocket away from the starting line and smile down at my shiny boots. Suddenly, I turn to look to my left as Kid Flask sprints past me.

"Sorry, Blue, looks like I'll be winning this one!" He shouts.

I growl in frustration as I try to go faster. All the training has paid off, and I can run at 500 without getting winded so quickly- but it's just not enough to catch up to him. He runs across the finish line seconds before I follow behind him.

"Good try, Cyan!" Cyborg tells me as him and the rest of the team approach the track.

"Thanks, but I guess I really wasn't ready to race you." I tell KF.

"Nah, don't worry about it- you've really improved! I mean- you'll never be as good as me-"

"You can stop there." I joke.

#**********#

After waving a cheerful goodbye to the three speedsters, I start to make my way back to my room. The smile that I've had plastered on my face the entire day finally slips. I just need to be alone with my thoughts. When I get to my room, Raven's standing in the doorway.

"Cyan, can I talk to you?"

I roll my eyes behind the mask. She frowns, and I realize that she can see through it.

"Sorry, can I just be alone. Please?" I ask impatiently.

"I'll make it quick." She says.

"Fine. What is it?"

She puts down her hood and looks at me.

"You- I mean- I think you need to come to terms with your powers."

"What?"

"I'm sensing you don't want them."

"W-what makes you think that?" I ask angrily.

"You seem saddened by them." Raven says.

"I…no- I just…"

"Cyan, you can tell me."

"Raven-it's none of your business!" I push past her and shut the door. I put my ear to the door and listen for footsteps, but she doesn't seem to be leaving.

"Cyan," She says through the door. "Please just tell me so I can understand."

I keep quiet. I stay quiet for a long while. Finally, I take a deep breath and start.

"Raven, I just feel like such a freak with my powers- I feel…almost disabled with them."

She doesn't answer, so I keep talking,

"It's just- the operation was supposed to help me be _normal_, but instead, I'm this. I've always wanted to help people, but not in this way! I never wanted to fight crime and be a superhero; I've only ever wanted to help people as an equal! I don't want this responsibility, yet at the same time, I can help people now, and I couldn't before. But, it isn't the same." I crouch down on the floor and choke back the tears. I can't believe I just told Raven that.

"…Rush, can I be honest?" Raven asks through the door.

"…Okay."

"I think you need to suck it up and realize that this change is a good thing."

I feel anger boil up inside me. How could she say that?

I thrust open the door and glare at her.

"Raven, getting that operation was the worst thing that's ever happened to me! How could you say that?" I ask her through bitter tears.

"Would you rather have stayed in a wheelchair your whole life, never being of any help to anyone- or would you rather be who you are now?" Raven asks me.

"…I-I don't know." Tears spill out my eyes, and I don't even bother holding them back. I feel so stupid- how can I not know the answer?

"R-Raven, I don't know! I don't know what to think! This was supposed to be simple- running away from my old life and never looking back!"

"You have to face this."

"I know- I know! But I don't want to! I just want this to be over! Why can't I just be happy? That's all I ever wanted! What did I ever do to deserve this?" I wail.

Raven pulls me into a hug and waits until I stop crying. I can feel my mask slipping off my eyes. It falls and I grab for it madly.

"Cyan."

I try to hide my face from Raven.

"Cyan- look at me!"

"No! Give me my mask! I need it!"

My hands search the floor, but I can't feel the mask anywhere. I feel Raven's hand on my shoulder, and I turn my head towards hers.

"Cyan, you're blind."

#**********#

**Ohh! Cliffie! I'm thinking of making only two or three more chapters, and then I'll start working on the sequel!**


	9. Chapter 9

"Cyan! Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell _anyone_?" Raven practically shouts at me, but turns her voice softer when she sees tears start to form in my eyes behind the mask.

"I know. I'm sorry."

I'm sitting on the hall floor, hugging my knees. Raven sits next to me.

"…When…when did this happen?" She asks me carefully.

"…After the explosion."

"How?"

I shut my eyes and try to squeeze the rest of the tears out. Wiping the tears from my cheeks, I turn my head to Raven.

"A few days- well, it was probably a few days- I finally woke up from the surgery, and I heard a voice coming from outside the room. I was so tired that I couldn't move my legs to go see who it was- but now I know that the voice was Dr. Stormer's. I could hear my parent's voices yelling at him…and then it happened. I saw the explosion before I heard it- it was like time slowed down. I put my hands in front of my face, and that's when I first made a force field to protect myself, but it was so weak that it only absorbed some of the damage. I was knocked out, and when I woke up, I couldn't see anything, and there was this excruciating pain in my eyes."

"So your eyes were damaged by the explosion." Raven says. "But what about the mask? And where did you get it in the first place?"

"Well, when I woke up, there was something in my hands. It was the mask, and I put it on, and somehow I could see." I explain.

"And you don't know how it does that?" Raven asks.

"I think I have some idea how. I searched the rubble for my parents after putting the mask on, but all I found was a briefcase, with that jumpsuit I wear- wore- until a few days ago- you know that. Then there was a file all about me, my powers, and how the mask was a prototype for something called Project Eagle Eye. That mask can supposedly improve eyesight, and every time I take the mask off, I'm blind again."

"Interesting…" Raven's voice wanders. "Maybe Cyborg can take a look at it and see how it works."

I stare at my feet.

"What's the matter?" Raven asks me.

"Raven, do you think Cyborg can fix my eyes?"

Raven sighs and looks away. "I don't know, Cyan. Don't get your hopes up."

"You're right. Do you think he can take Client's tracker out of it?"

"That should be easy, but why? We took care of Client's goons."

I look at Raven. "I just have a feeling we're not done with him yet."

#************#

I'm sitting on a stool while Cyborg leans over a plastic table, working on my mask. I'm trying my best to not make it look like I'm bind, but he already knows. The whole team knows.

"…Aaand…done!" He says. He gives me my mask, and I greedily tear it from his hands and put it on.

"So what upgrades did you give it?" I ask him.

"See for yourself. Blink three times."

I do as he says, and a click sounds in my head.

"I installed a camera, takes a picture of whatever you see." Cyborg says proudly.

"Cool. What else?"

"Press this button," He touches the side of my mask. "And it brings up a map of wherever you are, as long as your communicator is with you. I also improved the night-vision, so it turns on faster."

"And you took off Client's tracker?"

"I took off Client's tracker, yeah." Cyborg confirms.

"Thanks, Cyborg." I scoot off the chair and head for the door. But I stop as Cyborg calls to me,

"And Cyan," I turn around. "You should be proud of who you are. So many people would want to be in your place."

I take one final look at Cyborg.

"What do you mean?"

"You can help people. You can do so much for the world, and I don't think you even realize it."

He turns back to his worktable and I close my eyes, sighing. How can I help people when I don't even know how to help myself?

#**********#

"What?" I tilt my head to one side as I look at Robin.

"You know, patrolling- going around the city and looking for small crime. It's easy, don't worry."

"I don't know…"

"C'mon, Cyan, you're fully capable." Robin assures me.

Beast Boy surprises me from behind and perches on the couch next to me,

"Yeah, with all your training, you can totally kick some bad guy's butt now! I mean, not that you couldn't before!"

"Wait! I'll be patrolling by _myself_?" I say.

"The rest of us will be busy having a meeting with the police." Robin says.

"Why aren't I going to that?"

Robin and Beast Boy exchange glances.

"What?" I ask.

"It's just-" Robin is interrupted by Beast Boy,

"The police chief said- and he said this, not me- that the meeting was for 'real Titans only'." Beast Boy quotes.

I try not to show my anger, but it's obvious in my voice.

"Well, I _am _a real Titan."

"We know, but that's what he said. And even so, you're the only one without a chore to do this week, so it's only fair that we give the patrolling job to you." Robin says.

I huff as if I'm annoyed, but I'm actually scared. Going out at night? Alone? In a crime-infested city? I'm probably the least qualified to do that.

"But what if something happens?" I ask worriedly.

"Don't worry, you've got a communicator." Robin says.

"And there's no crime on Mondays, anyway." Beast Boy mentions.

"Crime happens all days of the week, Beast Boy." Robin tells him. He glances at my face and adds, "But don't worry, it'll be fine."

I look out at the approaching sunset.

"I sure hope so."

#***********#

The lamp-lit street seems oddly quiet for a Monday. Only a few cars speed by, and a lone jogger goes past me. I hold my breath and try to act casual. She just barely glances at me, not noticing my mask.

I breathe a sigh of relief for being ignored. I'm in my civilian clothes, but the mask still stays on my face, like a neon sign announcing, 'Here's a Teen Titan, criminals, attack when ready!'

Or maybe that's just me.

I turn a corner and my ears perk up at a scuffling sound, but it might have been nothing.

"S-someone! Help me!"

That wasn't nothing.

"I'm being robbed! Someone-he's getting away!"

I look around and spot two figures from across the street. The first figure- an elderly lady, points at a taller man, running away with her purse. I hesitate before doing anything, but then realize that I'm supposed to be here looking for crime and- as small as a purse-robbery is- it is one.

I sprint across the street, tackling the man down before he can even blink.

"Hey, get offa me, blonde!" He barks.

Obviously, this man isn't shaken by me.

"Someone should teach you some manners." I say simply. I form an energy bubble around him, preventing escape. I turn around, still holding the man in an energy bubble, to the sound of an approaching police car.

After explaining and handing the man off to the cops, I give the woman back her purse, and she rewards me with butterscotch candy.

"Thank you so much, dear. I really don't know what I'd do without this purse. It has my plane ticket in it."

I smile at the old woman. Something inside me makes me truly happy to see her relieved face.

"Are you going somewhere for the weekend?" I ask her.

"Yes, I'm going to Arizona for my son's funeral."

"Oh, I'm so sorry."

"It's alright." The woman smiles down at her purse. "He had a full life. Lived to thirty-four."

I open my mouth to speak, but she knows what I'm going to ask.

"I know, I know. It sounds young, but he was a good man. Helped everyone around him and made so many people happy, and that's all that matters. His life was full."

We stand in silence for a few moments before she looks up at me and gently takes my hand.

"Thank you, really. You don't know how grateful I am."

I smile sheepishly. For some reason I feel the smallest tears start to form in my eyes, but I blink them away.

"You're welcome."

#************#

"Cyan, you can stop patrolling, now. We've got dinner at the Tower." Cyborg calls to me from the communicator.

"Copy that."

I stand up from the bus stop bench, still alone as I've been for fifteen minutes.

Why had those woman's words felt so- _real_? I've never been so appreciated by someone for something so small. And the part that confuses me the most is that during that act of service, I never once thought of my problems. It was as if they never existed. Is this what it's like to truly help people? I didn't do anything substantial, and no one else was affected by that than the old woman, but that's the thing- it affected someone. One person that I helped, and that's one more person that will always remember what I did. It didn't matter who I was- she certainly didn't know.

And I used my powers to help her. She never got scared of me, she thanked me. Maybe Cyborg's right, I should be proud of who I am.


End file.
